1. Something for those early in their transition.


    You have made the decision to transition from the gender the doctor decided that you are at your birth, to your actual gender you should have been from the start. You have gone shopping, read all the books, talked to all the people, got your hormones, got name change forms… Or none of these. Your transition is yours, and nobody can tell you what or how much you have to do. But however you intend to get what you need, you are now ready.

    Here are the things I wish someone had told me before I started.

    A lot of people are going to call you selfish. They don’t see this as something you need. They see this as something you are doing to them (and that you are choosing, not needing, to do it). They see your identity as an inconvenience.

    Leave these people behind for now, until they realise the truth. You cannot force them to come along with you. Don’t waste your energy if they don’t want to listen right now.

    A lot of people are going to try and stop you. Some in very subtle ways (misgendering you) and others in very obvious ways (asking you to delay your transition to protect someone else from your “dangerous” identity) and some with emotional manipulation (“I get it and I love you but please don’t do this”). You are going to be surrounded by people who don’t want you to do this because it messes with everything they have ever been told about people and gender.

    Don’t stop till you are healthy. Be who you have to be, who you want to be and who you are. Don’t stop to protect someone elses prejudices or bad information.

    You may face discrimination and feel alone, and some people will tell you that you have to get used to it. That there are better times coming so just be quiet now and patiently wait the twenty years it could take until everyone gets used to the idea of treating you like a person.

    Don’t wait. Defend yourself. Start demanding to be treated like a person. You deserve it.

    Some will believe you are doing this for attention, or that you talk about the discrimination for attention. This will sometimes be worse than the discrimination itself.

    Share your stories of bad treatment. Tell people this happens. You do want their attention because this is not fair. Wanting to draw attention to something awful is never an act of ego.

    You aren’t going to see a lot of people like you in films, TV shows, books, video games, theatre, music or any other medium. People like you and I don’t get to fight/fuck vampires, save the world, run after your true love at the airport or make friends with giant robots.

    You will see us portrayed at murderers/murder victims/punchlines/drug addicts/prostitutes and exclusivity male to female. If you are a trans guy or gender queer, you don’t exist.

    We will never be in a Disney movie. Or if by some miracle we are, there will be protests because people think we are dangerous.

    Create your own art. Tell your story anyway you can.

    You are breaking the rules. You are an outlaw now. To many you have lost the right to identify how you want. Many hate the idea of class systems but many still classify you on what is in your pants (or more accurately, what they think is inside your pants). And you have broken the code. They will want an explanation. You don’t have to give them one.

    Don’t give them one if you don’t want to. You shouldn’t have to in the hopes that they will leave you alone. You are a person, not a teachable moment. Tell them “Why do you care” or “google it”.

    If you do decide to explain, be patient. Ignorance is infuriating but it isn’t their fault this society is so trans ignorant.

    Those who call themselves feminists will argue that you shouldn’t be allowed to exist. Some politely, others not so.

    Don’t engage, they are ridiculous. They are not feminists. Trans inclusive feminists outnumber them a thousand to one.

    Never, ever read the comments. It may be tempting, on a trans related news story, to get a feel for how people feel about the topic.

    Don’t look at the comments. The worst people post there because nobody in the real world is stupid enough to listen to them.

    Do one thing that is fun everyday.

    Talk to a good friend everyday.

    Listen to music on your headphones when in public.

    Get out of bed no matter how hard it is.

    Choose your battles.

    Many people will never see who you are as an equal. That is the price we have to pay for trying to live as we need too.

    They will not see it as it is. That we have to transition or risk death and mental illness. They will only see it through their narrow mind that has been narrowed by a gender binary that isn’t even real.

    You deserve better. You deserve so much more than this.

    "Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. And unselfishness is letting other people’s lives alone, not interfering with them."

    Oscar Wilde wrote that. Remember this.

    You are not asking for anything more than people get by default. You are only asking for the privilege to be a person. Anyone who tries to stop you in anyway is being selfish. They are scared of you.

    There are two ways you could react to the crap you are about to get. You could be professor X and rise above it. Be patient and work on trying to make the world better. Or you could be Magneto, always fighting, no action is too aggressive… any means is good to get what you need.

    Be Professor X. Trust me on this. You will be a lot happier.

    Good luck.

  2. 08:10 28th Jun 2014

    Notes: 339794

    Reblogged from ecstaticshyv

    Tags: transgendertransGSMGSRMLGBT



    Shut you up real fast.


    (Source: chiraa-khoor)

  3. image: Download



  4. liquidcoma:

    i dream of a day when “what are your pronouns” is as customary to ask as “what’s your name

  5. image: Download



I would like to give Planned Parenthood and their Teen Council forum 10/10 stars

idk about you all, but this made me cryand i know not all forms do this, this might be the only one, but knowing that at least one organization recognizes me as a person, doesn’t ask me to lie to fit their box, is one of the most calming and beautiful things to experience.and i’m just waiting for the day when government forms use this, when schools ask for preferred pronouns, when everywhere has an other category for gender and pronouns.we’re getting there, y’all.  we’re demanding to be seen and it’s working



    I would like to give Planned Parenthood and their Teen Council forum 10/10 stars

    idk about you all, but this made me cry
    and i know not all forms do this, this might be the only one, but knowing that at least one organization recognizes me as a person, doesn’t ask me to lie to fit their box, is one of the most calming and beautiful things to experience.

    and i’m just waiting for the day when government forms use this, when schools ask for preferred pronouns, when everywhere has an other category for gender and pronouns.

    we’re getting there, y’all.  we’re demanding to be seen and it’s working

  6. 02:02 20th May 2014

    Notes: 50434

    Reblogged from entjadun

    Tags: gsmgsrmLGBTtransgendertrans


    So, i read this awful article using bathroom “scare tactics,” which was claiming that trans women are potential rapists. “Men” who dress as women to gain access to women only spaces and force them self on women. This really upset me and i had a bit of a Twitter rant. They were read by others and i was urged to post them in other media also, so i am posting them here. (Edited together in easy reading format from top to bottom.)

    This is the link in the first tweet about how there are no cases of a trans woman attacking a cis woman in public restrooms: Link 1.

    This is the link in the second tweet about the cases where trans people are assaulted in the bathroom by cis people: Link 2.

  7. Anonymous said: when did kit/bun/etc pronouns ever hurt a trans person ever





    Have you not read the stories of people trying to come out, explaining to their parents what being trans is, the parents google ‘transgender’ and find this ridiculous bullshit? Because it’s happened.

    this. i’ve been out for 5 years but my mom was doing more research on what being trans is a little while ago so she could understand me better and unfortunately came across a link with the pronouns and countless gender labels
    it was embarrassing as fuck and i had to explain to her that i wasn’t going to end up identifying as a poly genderqueer demigirl or ask her to call me bun or fae and that wanting to transition is solely for my wellbeing and she said it was going to be hard to take me seriously for a long time because of what she saw

    Blaming other trans people for a cis person’s refusal to take you seriously is not only not fair to those other trans people, it’s not fair to you.

    Don’t you deserve more accountability from the people in your life? Don’t you deserve more than allowing them to fob off their (hopefully temporary) unwillingness to take in what you’re telling them about yourself and your life onto someone else?

    Because that is their choice. Their reaction. Blame them and no one else. As long as your mother can blame her refusal to deal with you on whatever wacky thing she saw on the internet… well, if it wasn’t the internet, maybe it would be day time TV. Maybe it would be Silence of the Lambs.

    It would be something, though. I guarantee you that.

    A cis person saying that they can’t take a trans person seriously because people with weird pronouns exist is the equivalent of a straight person saying they can’t take gay people seriously because of what they saw at the Folsom Street Fair.

    What they really mean is they choose not to take us seriously, and this is the most handy excuse at the moment.

    If we could get rid of the most “extreme” or “ridiculous” example of trans-identified people on the internet, the person who doesn’t want to take us seriously would just use the next most extreme example remaining as their alibi.

    Get rid of everyone who’s more “out there” than you are, and you will be the excuse. If there was no one whose gender expression was sillier or more incomprehensible to your mother than yours, she’d be stuck with the truth, which is that taking you seriously makes her uncomfortable.

    The “fringe culture” of any marginalized group will always be the alibi used to ignore or attack the mainstream, but here’s the thing we all need to realize: it’s not a particular fringe that’s the target, just whatever is the most outre layer at the moment. The idea that sacrificing the fringe is a successful defensive tactic is like the idea that when an army is camped out on your borders, you can protect yourself by giving up your borders.

    The army’s still there on your new borders. Its goals are still the same. All you’ve done is let them get that much closer to your heartland.

    Furthermore, back when the “cute” pronouns started to trend I remember thinking that most of the people I saw seriously playing with them were young NB kids whose loved ones had already given them the very clear message that their chosen pronouns would not be respected? These didn’t come out of “oh, well what can I do to get people to take me less seriously?” but out of “they aren’t taking me seriously to start with so what do I have to lose?”

    Chances are anyone that you want to attack for using pronouns that you don’t think anyone will take seriously has already tried out one or more of the “accepted” nonbinary pronouns - epicene they, spivak, xe/xem/xyr, thon, and so on - and not had that accepted at all. If there’s an element of mockery in a kid choosing cute pronouns for bunself, it’s mockery of the authority figures who rejected bun when bun called bunself they, not mockery of buns friends who may be xe or ey or he or she.

  8. tardiswanted:

    Ladies and gentlemen, and variations thereupon

    You know, I’m amazed that in all my time on tumblr, I’ve never seen a single post appreciating this lady. I mean, do you realise what is happening here?

    This is clear and casual acceptance of gender non-conformity in mainstream media. And not only is this in Doctor Who, with an audience of millions and millions of people worldwide, but it’s also set in the future, implying that progress is not only spaceships and interplanetary colonisation, but also in the way of acceptance of identity outside the gender binary.

    So yeah, let’s take a moment to appreciate the awesome lady in Doctor Who that was totally chill about trans* folk without making a big show of it. You go, girl*!
    (*or gentleman, or variations thereof.)